Have you heard the saying?
You can have it good, you can have it cheap, you can have it quick. But you can only pick two.
You can never have all three. And I mean never. I only heard of this saying in the last ten years, the unofficial husband refers to it all the time. It’s a truth, universally acknowledged, that you can apply to pretty much anything. In my line of work, it applies to tradespeople. It doesn’t matter what you are installing. Whether you’re buying a top-end kitchen or just need a roll of wallpaper hanging you CANNOT have all three.
GOOD AND CHEAP WON’T BE FAST
FAST AND GOOD WON’T BE CHEAP
CHEAP AND FAST WON’T BE GOOD
Those are the rules people!
I help my clients find tradespeople all the time. They often get frustrated that people are booked up or cost more than expected. But that’s actually a good thing, it means you are going to be pleased with the result. Understanding this ‘rule of three’ is a good life lesson and will help you make wise choices when considering tradespeople.
But I still mess it up all the time and temporarily forget the rule. Today is one of those occasions. So to help you learn this life lesson without it costing you any stress or money here are my real-life examples.
1. QUICK AND CHEAP = DONE BADLY
Today I let a bumbling idiot into my home who claims to be a ‘professional handyman’ who I sourced from mybuilder.com with great reviews. His job was to install an old fireplace I’d purchased on eBay. He was available immediately and quoted £50. So, what does the rule tell us? Yes, that’s right. If I’d applied my years of experience and intimate knowledge of ‘the rule of three’ then I would have known it was going to be a bit shit.
He started by not removing his shoes even when I reminded him the carpets were brand new. Then, to my horror, he went to lean the one-hundred-year-old rusty fireplace against my newly upholstered velvet armchair. I mean WFT? I’d specifically laid out dust sheets for him to use! With a sinking feeling, I left him to it.
(Would you lean a dirty old fireplace against this chair?)
An hour later he was done and I went to review his ‘handy work’.
So it turns out he couldn’t use a tape measure as it’s off-centre by 2cm. I noticed this immediately and said, “is it central”. He said, “Yes, it’s dead centre”. The trouble is when you ask someone a question and they lie to your face you look like a right dickhead if you then get your tape measure out to prove them wrong. But he knew I knew.
He also managed to get an (un-removable) stain on the brand-new carpet (surprise).
And finally, he’d pushed the skirting too far back so the newly fitted carpet now didn’t run up to the skirting. So I spent about three hours removing the skirting and refitting it with lots of filling and sanding so there wasn’t a gap.
If you ever are thinking of choosing cheap and quick from the rule of three then think again!
(Fireplace adorned with tat to distract from the fact it’s off -centre)
2. GOOD AND CHEAP = SLOW
If you follow me on Instagram then you will have seen from my stories that I have been renovating my kitchen since last August. Now that is s-l-o-w. Most Instagrammers have renovations done and dusted within a month or so. They’ll be flaunting their stunning before and afters within a matter of weeks.
Not me! It will be a year in soon and still no snazzy after pics. And that’s because I am managing something that is going to be brilliant but on a tiny budget. This means project managing and sourcing everything as cheaply as possible. My kitchen is being handmade by Andy and Trevor. They’re copying a Neptune kitchen for me for a teeny fraction of the cost, plus it makes use of every centimetre of space in my modest size kitchen. And because I’ve coordinated all the trades myself I’ve saved a fortune. But oh my God has it taken time.
I’ve been a complete snooze fest on Instagram. But when it comes to something like a kitchen do you really want it cheap and fast? Not if that means shit. And that’s another good life lesson. If people on the grid or on the telly make you feel like you are bumbly and slow. Don’t let it get you down. The people who bash out this project in a weekend just to get a picture on the grid and get a few more followers are going to regret it later when it doesn’t stand the test of time.
Your kitchen should last you fifteen, or twenty years so don’t rush it.
(It will be finished one day)
3. GOOD AND QUICK = EXPENSIVE
I don’t do this option a lot. I can actually only think of one example (although I’m sure there are more) where a plumber moved a pipe that we unexpectedly uncovered in the renovation work. If I booked my usual guy it would have held the project up for weeks so I had to book the first guy that was available. It took him a couple of hours and cost me three hundred pounds, cash! So that’s why I don’t often pick good and quick. I can’t bloody afford it.
The other totally unrelated example is Domino’s Pizza. So good, so quick but so expensive (for a pizza). But it has to be worth the calories right?
(my daily reminder of ‘Tim the Incompetent’)
So from my experience, it seems you definitely cannot have it all. Something’s got to give. And when it comes to my home I think I’d always rather wait or pay extra for a fireplace that isn’t off-centre. I now have a permanent visual reminder of ‘Tim the Incompetent’. So let that be a lesson to you all.
I hope you lovely lot find my blogs useful. But if you ever fancy some actual real-life interior design advice then get in touch. I cover Southampton and Hampshire and would love to help you 🙂
Sarah x
